Finding answers that work for you...Sarah is a Certified Hakomi Therapist and a Teacher of Hakomi, based in Hawkes Bay.
Welcome to Sarah Tait-Jamieson Therapies I was born in Torrington, Conn., (USA) in 1951, but have lived in New Zealand with my Kiwi husband and 4 children since 1975. Originally I studied archaeology & anthropology and trained as a teacher when I came to New Zealand. However, when my children grew older, I retrained in psychotherapy and in Hakomi, a body /mind psychotherapy that is my preferred modality. I am now a Certified Hakomi Therapist and a Certified Teacher of Hakomi. Let me tell you a little about Hakomi, and how it might work for you. What is Hakomi? Hakomi is a Hopi Indian word which means, “Who am I in relation to these many realms?” In Hakomi therapy we help you to become aware of these realms of your internal world: your thoughts and images, your physical body and it’s sensations, your memories, and your core beliefs. Hakomi therapy follows five principles which are based on Buddhist philosophy:
- Mindfulness—You direct your attention to your inner reality, observing your inner self from the viewpoint of a benevolent observer who does not judge things as right or wrong, good or bad; things just are as they are
- Unity—We are all connected to each other as human beings, to other sentient beings, to the universe. In this connection we share experiences and responsibility for each other.
- Non-violence—As a Hakomi therapist, I respect the wisdom of your being; I work with you, I do not push you, decide for you or block your process in any way. I also practice non-violence towards myself in our therapeutic relationship by respecting my own integrity.
- Organicity—Things unfold in their own rhythm and with their own wisdom. As therapist, I allow your process to unfold, trusting its rightness, rather than holding an agenda of my own about what should happen in our therapy together.
- Mind/Body Wholism—The mind and the body are not separate entities, but are interrelated so that what affects the mind also affects the body and vice versa.
You are an intelligent being. At an early age you observed your world and the people close to you—how they held you, how they looked at you, etc. – and you worked out some strategies for living and getting the nourishment and connection to others best suited to your circumstances at the time. You grew up and held these strategies & core beliefs about the world close to your heart, so close, that they became imperceptible to your conscious mind. However, your body has grown and shaped itself around these strategies and core beliefs to keep them safe and validated. The problem is, life changes. . . For example, maybe when you were a wee one your parents had lots of worries, or were sick or were just too busy to give you the love and attention that all little ones need. In this situation you might have ‘decided ‘( not consciously like an adult decides) that no one was available so you had to look after yourself. Alternatively you may have decided you’d give those adults a real blast of your lungs and let them know you wanted their attention. Now it’s the present and you’re an adult but you’re still holding the belief that people are unavailable to love you or that you have to make a big scene to get people to notice you; not very effective behavior for an adult, but it’s something that’s just below your conscious radar. A Hakomi therapist, like myself, is trained to help you become aware of your barely conscious self. . And with awareness, change is possible!!
How does it work?
Neuroscience is now demonstrating that therapy can help us to re-wire our brains, creating new neurological pathways, which can result in new ways of thinking and new core beliefs. Unfortunately, you can’t just go out and buy a book that tells you how to change your core beliefs and hence your life. Remember, you formed those core beliefs originally from your experiences in relationship to other people; so now, the re-wiring also has to be done in relationship to other people. It is possible to do some rewiring in relationship with loving friends and family. Neuroscience has shown that a Hakomi therapist who is trained to help you become aware of those barely conscious parts of you—gestures, postures, expressions—that hold keys to long forgotten experiences can help you to do this brain re-wiring and hence help you to change your life.
Action!! Curious? Want to know more? Want to really get free of restrictive patterns of life and become more fully who you want to be?
What people say about Hakomi therapy:
“I feel lighter, like a burden has been lifted.”
“I feel like I’ve shed an old skin and I’ve got a beautiful, new, .sensitive one.”
“Wow, I never really understood that part of me, but now it so makes sense.”
Hakomi Also Works for Relationship Counseling
When I work with couples, my first premise is that it takes two to tango, you create your dance together, so it is not a matter of one person being ‘right’ and the other ‘wrong’ . When things get stuck and the tango is no longer flowing we say in Hakomi terms that you’ve created a “system.” The “system” comes from those strategies and core beliefs I mentioned earlier that each of you bring to the relationship. Your strategies and core beliefs usually set each other off, creating a spiral that can be hurtful and destructive to you both. For example: Let’s say your core belief is that love and nourishment are scarce commodities, and you strategise to grab as much love and attention from your partner as possible. Your partner holds a core belief that their freedom/individuality is under constant threat; they play out their strategy by pushing away anyone or anything that they feel restricts their freedom. When you reach out to your partner for those elusive commodities of love and attention, your partner runs a mile! You can see how you would become each other’s worst nightmare, creating a snug and stifling system. Using mindfulness with you both, I’d help you discover these core beliefs and how they tyrannize your relationship. My experience working with couples is that when you see and feel each others suffering and its innocent intent, your hearts melt. Where there was hurt and anger, there is now compassion and understanding.
For more information or to Book an Appointment please call 021 877 104. Ring or email me to receive a free half hour consultation.
BA Anthropology/Archeaology Cornell University
Bachelor Applied Social Sciences Eastern Institute of Technology
Dip. Integrated Psychotherapy—Hakomi Eastern Institute of Technology
Masters of Health Science, Psychotherapy Auckland University of Technology